Tuesday, 30 November 2010

"I am looking for someone who is love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming 'can't live without each other', love."
A little something I'm working on.
This will be my daughter.
I don't understand my thoughts or emotions.

I never will know what's best for me.

Monday, 29 November 2010

Without wit.

So I'm being fairly contradictory to my earlier post today regarding my lack of inspiration.

Sometimes I honestly wonder about the goodness in people,
I want to trust people. I want to believe that they are good. I want to believe that they will treat people how they want to be treated. I want to believe a lot of things..

But I don't.

The truth is that I have experienced far too many people that will lie, manipulate, use and abuse. Now this may be my own lack of judgement but I have found that I'm a complete pushover and end up getting hurt, a lot. I'm too busy trying hard to be there for others and do right by them that I in turn, end up getting walked over.

Is the only way to get ahead to stop caring?

I dont want to be cold, I really don't. But sometimes I feel like that's my only option. Survival of the fittest and all that jazz.

I wonder, can you really be happy if you always put others first?

Sing me a melody.

"Music isnt my life, I dont know much about it. But without music I wouldn't know much about my life.
Whoever said this put words to something I had felt for a very long time. Music is powerful. It moves people, it seeps beneath the surface and touches the soul. It doesn't matter the genre, what Eminem does for some, slipknot may do for others. Its tells a story, my story, your story, our story. It doesn't wait to resolve, it just tells it like it is. It paints a picture of our lives, weaving lyric and melody together to say what we struggle to put words to. Going counter cultural and talking about the things society chooses to dance around. It doesn't judge, It doesn't try to fix anything. It asks questions even when it doesn't have any answers. It speaks of hurt even before the healing. It makes no judgment it just 'is'. Music doesn't choose its audience, it plays for whoever will listen. Music is just broken people speaking on behalf of broken people and letting us know were not alone in all of this. Music is present in the time of tears, in the time of celebration and almost everything in between. Music is the hug nobody else will give, the friend you always wanted and the voice you never had. Music isn't my life, I don't know much about it but without it I wouldn't know much about my life."

It's so much better when everyone is in; are you in?

Kinda been lacking inspiration to write long blog post's lately so expect lots of pictures.
I've always liked books with lots of pictures.

Friday, 26 November 2010

Some see the glass as half full. Other's see it as half empty. I see a glass that is twice as big as it needs to be.

Have a good weekend guys.

Thursday, 25 November 2010

Feeling all warm and gooey inside today and it's all thanks to you.

"Enjoy the little things in life, because one day you will look back and realise they were the big things."

I miss my childhood.
I miss my Mum making me sausages and waffles for lunch. I miss my Nan babysitting me and tickling my back to get me to sleep. I miss playing with the dolls round her house. I miss the excitement of ‘Santa’. I miss falling asleep on my Mum’s lap at family parties. I miss being rewarded for losing a tooth. I miss falling asleep with my Dad on the beach. I miss playing ‘don’t come on my bed’ with my Dad and Brother. I miss running around my Nan and Grandad’s garden in my knickers. I miss dancing on my parent’s bed to Santana and Will Smith. I miss collecting conkers over Hylands Park. I miss lying on the kitchen work tops watching CBBC after a day at school. I miss the meter on the wall in our old kitchen by Rowenta and being fascinated by how much it looked like my Mum’s name. I miss riding on my Dad’s shoulders. I miss being real close with my brother. I miss being able to get up really late because I didn’t have hair or make-up to do. I miss Shirley Hughes books. I miss running out of school to see my Mum waiting in the playground. I miss walking around my Auntie’s old bedroom and thinking about how similar it was to the bedroom in The Parent Trap. I miss weekends away to Yorkshire. I miss paddling in streams and collecting stones. I miss my Mum and Dad carrying me up to bed. I miss pretending my dolls cot was an express train and piling all my teddies in for a ride.
I miss my naivety.

Que sera, sera.

Those minutes where I am alone, just me and my pillow. I think. A lot. I think about everything, anything. It varies from “What am I doing with my life?” to “What shall I do this weekend?” The room is so silent but my mind is so loud. It drives me crazy because the things I would never think about, I think about. Sometimes, I hate it because it brings up things I’d rather never think about again. The split second before I fall asleep is the most active second of my life.

Exactly one month today...

If only I could spend Christmas at Hogwarts.

Wednesday, 24 November 2010

Forgive me father for I have sinned.

Home isn't always about a house.

I'm not really a modern girl at heart, I love older things and authentic looking pieces, when I have my own house it's going to be full of random mismatched things and look amazing.  

Shit, quite literally, happens.

So I was strolling to work this morning with the sound of Felix Da Housecat playing into my ears and deciding that the woman who just pushed past me in a hurried state with a totally rude manner was actually worse off than me. (even if I did feel a slight bruise forming on my arm) What an unfortunate figure. Just as I was thinking what I'd like to do to her had I been prepared for such an attack, all of a sudden... splat. Yep. A bird shat in her hair. I actually looked up at the sky and laughed, although thinking back on that now, turning my face towards the sky probably wasn't the wisest move. Karma's a bitch darlin'.

Tuesday, 23 November 2010

Reality check.

A Child. One kilometer from a feeding station in Sudan stops to rest while a vulture waits.

This photo was taken by Kevin Carter in 1993
It was published by The New York Times on March 26 1993
It won The Pulitzer prize for feature photography on May 23 1994

While this photo brought much needed awareness and in turn aid to the situation in Sudan, Kevin Carter never assisted the child to the feeding station.

"The man adjusting his lens to take just the right frame of her suffering, might just as well be a predator, another vulture on the scene." -The St Petersburg Times

Kevin Carter killed himself on July 27 1994

At what point do you stop being a Journalist and start being a Human?
Flicking through Grazia magazine at lunch I came across an article which fascinated me and I felt a strong pang of admiration for this woman. Although I don't think I could ever find it within myself to cheat, as I've been cheated on before and can't say I was too keen on the feeling of finding out; I have the upmost respect for this woman. Only picked out what I thought were the key statements but a little something for both you guys and girls to think about.
Take note guys, you're not the only ones.

A recent survey revealed that 54 per cent of women now have affairs – and that they even make better cheats than men. Here, Pamela Rossi, 33, a banker from London, discusses why she refuses to stay faithful…

‘I know some people are going to judge me and will call me a slut. But it’s so hypocritical: men cheat all the time and don’t get bad reputations, so why should a woman? I’m not unusual. Most people I know – men and women – are unfaithful. They just don’t admit it. But this is real life, not a romcom, and it’s time we started being honest about the fact that women get up to just as much as men – and were better at it.’

‘…everything changed when I was 23 and found my boyfriend of three years in bed with another girl. I had really believed that we’d marry and have children. My world fell apart and I vowed I’d never trust anyone again.’

‘Yes, there’s a part of me that’s afraid to trust someone so completely again, but I’ve also got to know myself better and I’m a butterfly who needs to move from person to person, otherwise I’m miserable. Cheating isn’t just about sex – its more about the power that being desired gives me. It’s like an addiction.’

‘So now I don’t tell men the truth and they don’t find out because, quite frankly, as a woman I’m better at cheating. Were more able to be underhand and we pay attention to detail, which is important when you're covering your tracks.’

‘But I know that one person can’t meet all my needs and while I don’t want to hurt people, I don’t want to lead a miserable life, either.’

In the words of Ali G... Restecpa.
Just because I'm having a crap day so far and Michael Buble makes it all better.

How do you like your eggs in the morning?

I like mine with a...

Thou shalt be mine.

Payday Thursday and my bank account shall take an instant pounding. I wish it would hurry up so I can order this lot.

Tell me about it, stud.

I'm in such a festival mood it's unreal. I wish there were massive festivals in winter in huge tents so it wasnt ridiculously cold but still in with the festival theme. If I had a mass amount of fields I would definitely hold my own and everyone who appreciated good music could come. Notice the emphasis on good. No crappy pop shit, no over played house music, just pure dnb and dubstep. Getting filthy in a filthy field is my idea of a good time.

Monday, 22 November 2010

ever thine
ever mine
ever ours.

Fucking live.

You having one of those days when youre feeling worthless? Feeling let down? Feeling uninspired?
Then take a little look and listen to this... Bare with it. It's one of my very favourite pick-me-up's.

But all of that's what the point is not, the point's that there ain't no romance around there.

I'm feeing rather smooshy inside today.

And maybe a little naughty.

Ok so it's safe to say I loved Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows and quite frankly, those who thought it was a let down just arent as geeky as me. My crush on Rupert Grint (Ron Weasley) is even more intense. Since when did he get so hench?! Jesus. I love his geeky little ways.

Kinda cute.

I'm not sure how much truth there is in this... but....

'The marriage ring is placed at the third finger from the thumb on your left hand because it is the only finger that has a vein which is directly connected to your heart.'

I hate...

  • cold shampoo on cold mornings.
  • 6am wake up calls.
  • the landing light shining on my face in the morning.
  • people blowing their noses on the train.
  • people who slow down a ridiculous amount on an open roundabout when they can see it's clear.
  • when supposed 'anti chip' nail polish, chips.
  • monday mornings knowing I have four more early mornings before I can have a lay in.
  • waiting for pay day.
  • the ridiculously loud schoolboys that get on the train every day and talk utter shit.
  • days that drag.

Friday, 19 November 2010

Jake, wrap me in your tanned, toned arms you absolute babe.

Rihanna knows...

'Who you think you gettin' with that "Hi, let me freak ya."?
You got me mistaken thinkin' you gon' get it easy
First of all you need to know that I'm not the one
Think you gettin' somethin' baby, you aint gettin' none
All you need to know that I'm a 2 times 5
Load it, cock it, aim it baby, boom bye bye
Set your standards lower boy you're aiming too high
Matter of fact your friend looks better so... good bye!'

Thursday, 18 November 2010

John Green: possibly one of the most amazing authors.

'Those awful things are survivable, because we are as indestructible as we believe ourselves to be. When adults say, "Teenagers think they are invincible" with that sly, stupid smile on their faces, they don't know how right they are. We need never be hopeless, because we can never be irreparably broken. We think that we are invincible because we are. We cannot be born, and we cannot die. Like all energy, we can only change shapes and sizes and manifestations. They forget that when they get old. They get scared of losing and failing. But that part of us greater than the sum of parts cannot begin and cannot end, and so it cannot fail.'


I love when people I used to get on well with but fell out of contact with, show up again. I've missed your ways.

Wednesday, 17 November 2010

Um, no.

My mum always taught me to see imitation as a form of flattery and I can see her point and all that but what really bugs me is when people comment on my photo’s on facebook asking where something I’m wearing is from. Look, I don’t care how horrible it sounds but I’m not going to tell you where it’s from. Mainly because I don’t want loads of people having it but secondly because you never even said please. Slutbucket.

Tuesday, 16 November 2010


My hair still isnt as blonde as I want it. I want white blonde.


'She was a smart girl... Til she fell in love.'
How anyone can sleep with their duvet right up over their head I do not know. Claustrophobicin'ell.

Friday, 12 November 2010

'I wish that I could bake a cake made out of rainbows and smiles and we'd all eat and be happy.'

I would like a piece of this.
I have some strange feeling that it'd make me happy inside.

What girls see that guys don't.

Utterly confuses me what some guys see in some girls. Come to the conclusion that girls are ridiculously fussy when judging other girls. Either that or the guys aren’t fussy enough. I know as a girl, that when looking at another girl I tend to always look at what she’s wearing; some guys really mustn’t I swear?! Fair enough, I’m all for guys liking a girl for a beauty and not what she wears but seriously?! Guys really don’t seem to pay attention to detail all too much. How her hair is ridiculously greasy, how her outfit seriously clashes, how her make-up is applied catastrophically. So maybe this doesn’t apply to all guys as I know a few who are crazily fashion conscious but come on boys… she looks like a man in drag.

Thursday, 11 November 2010

Myyyyyyy preciousssssss.

Anyone who know's me personally will know how I love rings. Big, silver rings. I tend to load them up on my fingers until there isnt room for any more. Probably one of my favourite things to spend money on. I have a lot of the ring's in the following photos. The cross and armour one's being my favourites to wear, but, if anyone could find me the crocodile ring as seen in the last photo, PLEASE, please, let me know!


There's so many more tattoo's I want it's ridiculous.


Tuesday, 9 November 2010

Kindly leave me alone.

You know those days when you just want to climb into bed, pull the covers over your head and be away from everyone? I’m having one of those.