Downhearted.

You know that horrible feeling when you see something you wish you hadn't? The worst part is, I kinda bought it upon myself. I now feel shit and worthless. I want to curl up under my covers and be away from everything just because of that one thing. Weird that isn't it? How one little thing can alter your whole mood and question yourself. I'm fed up. I need some excitement in my life. Like that kind of excitement when you kiss the guy you like for the first time. The crazy flurry of butterflies dancing to the beat of your heart. I want to feel that excitement. Right now. Something to make me feel worth while. This quote usually makes me feel optimistic but seeing as it's of no relevance to my current situation, it's lacking somewhat...

'I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn't know you had inside you. And it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends... you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. And you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade.'

The Holiday