'If someone wants to be a part of your life, they'll make an effort to be in it.

Don't bother reserving a  s p a c e  in your heart for someone who doesn't make an effort to stay.'



Have always been taught something similar by mum. Her version...
'If a guy wants to be with you, he will be.'

"You want a guy that'll slam you against the wall, not make love to you." - Rowena Lowers, my mum.

I was sick of the thought of love. Sick of everyone going on about how badly they wanted it and how badly they were in it. I'm never entirely convinced of true love until I see it first hand, in a relaxed, un-staged setting. I'm currently reading Dear John by Nicholas Sparks and no I've never seen the movie. I'm falling back in love with the idea of love.

I enjoy the little things in life.

Staring out of the window at the rain.

Staying in my pyjamas all day.

Finding something lost.

Noticing something I never did before.

Putting a jumper into the tumble dryer to warm it up, then putting it on.

When you turn the page of your book and it crackles.

Finally understanding something.

Toasted marshmallows over candles.

Being able to actually see when I put my glasses on.

Finding a bargain.

A text from someone you haven’t spoken to in a while.

Buying things for my house.

Falling asleep when drunk. Heavenly.

Last minute plans.

Laughing so hard my tummy hurts.

Cold, smooshy pillows.

'Nother day, 'nother dollar.

Yuck. Another Monday, here we go again. Literally felt like I died around 3 times this morning. Getting out of bed, killed me. Getting out of the shower into the cold, killed me further. Having to wake up and get off the train at Liverpool St topped me off and thus, I am the walking dead. I’ve had some rather peculiar dreams lately. Yesterday I dreamt that my friends Taylor and Max were dancing round a super market to a 70’s themed routine wearing bright orange shirts – I genuinely woke up laughing. And then last night, from what I can remember, I dreamt I had a little baby brother. Was absolutely gutted to wake up and realise my mother’s ovaries hadn’t been at it. He was a right chubby little thing and always wanted cuddles. Not much I enjoy more than a good cuddle. Convinced my nights out of heavy drinking influence my brain’s productivity and cause me to have such random dreams. I really need to stop drinking, not that I drink on a totally regular basis anyway. Nine times out of ten, if I’m going out I tend to drive but it’s that one out of ten that kills me and causes me to act like a total idiot. It’s always a little worrying when the night before is a little hazy. I’m normally pretty good at remembering what was said, what happened etc. but I can safely say that it’s no longer one of my strong points. I’m the kind of drunk that really does let out my true thoughts and emotions and it’s proven to be a bad thing. If it doesn’t land me in a bit of trouble, it leaves me feeling embarrassed for sharing my opinions on things. Believe it or not, I have trouble telling people how I feel. You’d never think it from reading my blog but in the flesh, to put my thoughts into words is something I struggle with. So yeah, if ever I ramble on when I’m drunk, please just ignore what’s being said because chances are, it’s something I shouldn’t be telling you.

My thoughts tend to sound better in books I didn't write, and in the songs I didn't sing. Even then, sometimes, there is no piece of literature, no song, no work of art, that can really explain the way you feel. There is a double-edge comfort in knowing that no one really knows.

She wanted to return to her dream. Perhaps it was still somewhere there behind her closed eyelids. Perhaps a little of it's happiness still clung like gold dust to her lashes. Don't dreams in fairytales sometimes leave a token behind?

A crazy sense of optimism has overcome me today. Ever get bored of your appearance? I've been wanting to change the way I look for quite some time just didn't really know a way of going about it but I've come up with a plan. Now, I'm not going to tell you what it is incase it doesn't happen, but, if it does, I'm going to be one happy girl. It's going to require a hell of a lot of hard work and determination on my end so keep your fingers crossed for me.

My bed makes me happy.

And that, is the snuggliest blanket in the world.

Laura Ashley, you're a babe.

Regulators, mount up.

Prided myself on knowing every word when I was about eight.