Time to let go. 

'The more guys I meet, the more I realise it's only him I want to be with.' 

I used to love Thursday nights. Instead I'm sat here feeling awful and telling myself to just let go. Why is this so hard? All I ever wanted was to be in deep, madly, uncontrollable love and now I'm in it, I don't know why I wanted it. I'm hurting so bad. All I know is, I will always look back and smile. 

'Just give me a reason,

Just a little bit's enough,

Just a second we're not broken just bent,

And we can learn to love again

It's in the stars,

It's been written in the scars on our hearts,

We're not broken just bent,

And we can learn to love again'

The worst part? I believed you. 

2011 - best year of my life.

I miss the way my life used to be. I don't know why I do it to myself but looking through old photos of memories is killing me. Why does life have to be so fucking hard? I've never felt a grief/loss like this. 

Have you ever felt so betrayed and let down by someone you never thought would treat you that way? I'm so confused by everything at the moment. Life makes no sense to me and I feel as though I'm stuck in limbo. I find it really hard comprehending some people's actions, mainly because I could never be that way. It's so amazing to me how someone can change so much right in front of your eyes. The hardest part is having no control over it and just having to sit back and watch it happen. I've always had issues with trust and struggled to come to terms with letting someone in again and being 'vulnerable' so to speak. The scariest part is that person really convinced me to let them in and trust them with my happiness and yet they were the one's to truly abuse it.
I don't understand how someone can say one thing and then three weeks later, contradict it. This is hard. No one really seems to understand how I feel or sympathise with me. I don't have anyone to talk to about it because most people judge or I can hear them getting bored with me and so I've turned to blogging again; hoping it will be a good outlet for my emotions. Ready to be bored?

'Feel free to stay in my life this time yeah'

Trying to follow my head as opposed to my heart.

Feel like I'm fighting a battle with myself.